Meet Shondrea McCargo, MAPP15

I spoke with Shondrea as she was gearing up to virtually teach her 5th grade class in Baltimore. Fresh from wrapping up her capstone, she’s far from putting MAPP behind her, like the rest of us newly-minted grads are figuring out how to do. Nope! She’s joining the program as an Assistant Instructor in Marty’s 600 class, which makes the class of 2021 MAPPsters a darned lucky bunch to have Shondrea’s calming presence and wisdom to lean on (especially as they chew upon Jaynes’ The Origins of Consciousness in the Breakdown of the Bicameral Mind). I chatted with Shondrea before her evening plans of a pescatarian dinner and a personal training session, which she was kind enough to interrupt for me. Here’s the scoop from this giving, scary-smart, and deep MAPP alumna.

Why did you want to attend the MAPP program?

The program aligned with my core values of being well, being whole, being happy no matter where you are– at work or at home. I had been talking to my boss/ Principal for a while about how I felt teachers were burning out at our school. I didn’t feel we had enough support to make sure that everyone was healthy. It’s almost like teachers are an afterthought, and there is an expectation of their burn out. It felt like there was such a lack of balance in my life, and I wanted a way to figure out how to put it back together for myself and others.

How does that quest for balance relate to what you value?

I believe strongly in growth. Love of learning is one of my top strengths. I do live my life in a way that I try to be curious about how I can improve and be self-sufficient. There we go! That’s it! How can I create a space that’s healthy, and how can I create a space for others who may not have resources or people building them up. How can I help them build the confidence to create that space in their lives to be self-sufficient, too?

So what’s the deal with self-sufficiency?

It’s connected to a sense of control, my happiness, and the trajectory of my life. Just because I was born into a certain experience doesn’t mean I have to keep that experience if I don’t like it. I’m not helpless. I have the power to craft the life I want for myself.

What’s a memorable MAPP moment for you?

MAPP was such a necessary part of my journey as a person and in my career. I was really intentional about wanting to connect with everybody; every single person. I kept everyone’s bio, and I wrote a note by their bio after I spoke with them so I’d really remember our conversation. (author note: how much did you just fall in love with Shondrea right there? Picturing her going back to her hotel at night, making her bio notes on her bedside table?)

Oh! I have a great memorable moment. I was looking for a community– besides MAPP– a community of people of color, because I was experiencing some unique things that would not have been as apparent to someone who wasn’t black. For example, all the janitors, front desk workers, and food service workers in the Wharton building were people of color, and I’m in the class, and I’m a person of color. To be clear, it’s not that I felt they were beneath me because of their roles; I honor them. It felt like such a disconnect that made me question identity. I had difficulty reconciling the conflicting perception of where I "was" versus "where I should be". Where did I belong?

So during a break at our December onsite, I went for a walk. I saw a bunch of people of color (I was so excited!), and learned it was a Black Wharton community group that was having a conference, and that night they were having a gala. Luckily it was the same night as our MAPP holiday party so I had brought clothes to dress up in. After our MAPP party, Masa and Emily (also in MAPP 15) put me in a Lyft and sent me off downtown to the ball. I went by myself and had the most affirming, freeing and validating time, connecting with others. It was such a magical night: I felt supported by my MAPP cohort, and I felt like I was brave enough to have gone into that crowd (something Shondrea apparently wouldn’t normally do). I was actually going to walk by, but I built up the courage to go. I made connections from that night that have lasted to this day.

Can you tell us about your Capstone?

It’s entitled How to Heal: A Positive Intervention Strategy for Restoring Wounded Relationships. It culminated in a book proposal that addresses how to love others beyond their detrimental mistakes. This is from my abstract: “Through the leveraging of character strengths, forgiveness, and perspective, this proposal explains how to overcome pain and shame of past relationship transgressions to reach love and healing.” (Author note: Shondrea is still navigating how to talk about her capstone and book, because of its deeply personal subject matter about her relationship with her mother. On one hand she has reservations about being judged or dismissed because of her story, and on the other hand she has a strong desire to be authentic and share the more personal details of her journey. I am certain our MAPP community will send her waves of virtual support to communicate her story in the way she is most comfortable, at the time that’s right for her.)

If you could do MAPP over again, what’s one thing you’d do differently?

I would probably speak up more, for sure. I was so afraid to say the wrong thing. Even though I wanted to make connections, I felt so small when I compared others’ backgrounds and capabilities to my own. It took me almost the year to realize that “oh no, you have some really great contributions to share”. Jenn Beatty (AI) taught me about power dynamics, and that you either think that you have everything to learn or everything to teach. I came into MAPP thinking that I had everything to learn, like I could offer nothing, and I think that wasn’t the right mindset. That mindset helped me to learn a lot, but I think that my development also has to involve taking risk and putting myself out there. I think the things that make us the most different are the source of our power. My unique background gives me a perspective, a point of view that others can’t immediately tap into.

Sitting in the front of the room was an intentional act when I realized I wasn’t putting myself in the mix enough. I could have done that sooner. I’d like to have talked to our guest speakers more, with the confidence that I have something valuable to say; I’d have gotten their emails and connected more. 

When people find out you’re a Fulbright Scholar, do you see the look of intimidation come over them?

I do, and it’s just... I think I worked so hard, and my path is so different given where I come from, that with some of my accomplishments, I don’t even realize the prestige of them. 

If you knew you were going to die (peacefully and painlessly) a year from today, what would you do differently in that window of time?

I would definitely not overthink things. I would put myself out there more. I would talk to and reach out to people a lot more, check in, give them encouragement. I definitely would show up more. 

Shondrea is teaching 5th grade in Baltimore and is an AI in Marty's 600 class.

About the author:

Jodi Wellman is a speaker, coach, facilitator and thought leader on well-being and living lives worth living. She really just wants people to die happy– well, live happily and without regrets– while cleverly beginning with the end (the “big end”) in mind. She's torn about where to place her "Memento Mori" tattoo. You can find Jodi at www.fourthousandmondays.com.