Everybody Matters? Might This One Day Be Real!

As we reflect on the extraordinary and tumultuous days of spring and summer 2020, I am struck by a few fundamental questions. How do we live in the U.S. as if everybody matters? Do organizations, neighborhoods, systems, policies, and places where we live, work, worship, and play encourage wellbeing? Who has access to wellbeing, and is it equitably actualized in the daily lives of Americans?

As James Baldwin wrote, “Not everything that is faced can be changed. But nothing can be changed until it is faced”. It is time to face this immutable fact: systemic oppression has had its knee on the neck of the African American community since America began. The country was founded on the violent near extermination of Native-Indigenous people and the enslavement of Africans. We have a responsibility to acknowledge and address this. We have a responsibility to know our full factual history and present an honest perspective to subsequent generations. We have the responsibility to understand that the systems and policies put into place to make us comfortable enslaving for 250 years and marginalizing Black people for centuries persist today and have been infused in nearly every institution of this nation.

A growing body of literature shows that social determinants — otherwise known as the conditions in which we are born and in which we live, work, and play — are critical drivers of inequities. Due to a generation of policies in the U.S., communities of color have faced vastly different prospects, disparities in job opportunities, income, inherited family wealth, health, and wellbeing. These communities are less likely to have housing security, clean water, clean air, access to quality schools, healthy food, and green spaces. These factors undoubtedly undermine both physical and mental wellbeing. Seeking to understand the policies in your community and their implications is essential.

Gut-wrenching and visible police violence affect Black Americans at nearly three times the rate of white Americans. It is well documented that the consequences of structural racism and daily discrimination crumble personal wellbeing. Chronic stress and vigilance, caused by racism, triggers a cascade of adverse health outcomes, from high blood pressure, heart disease, immunodeficiency, and vulnerability to viruses such as COVID-19. Research shows that the racism endured by Black women contributes to the alarmingly high rates of maternal and infant mortality. Unceasing vigilance is antithetical to wellbeing and far beyond the purview of an intervention. Psychology and nearly every academic discipline set forth scholars and scholarship that too frequently lacks diverse perspectives, and analysis, further obscuring our world view. Varied and inclusive views make us all richer. I am better for knowing the views of Asian, Pacific Islander, Muslim, Native/Indigenous, and Latinx voices. In our multicultural world, we must welcome and cherish these perspectives and value the people who gave their lives for this land and built the nation. Lived experience has value and meaning in concert with science; we value both quantitative and qualitative research. Intersectional identities matter, and identity is a foundational pillar of every person’s development. I believe in the inherent dignity of all people.

I see the present situation, not as a response to one police murder of George Floyd, or the killings of Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Tony McDade, Elijah McClain, and countless others. It is a deep cumulative pain born of the decades of dehumanization, the inability of Black people to find a way to educate children, buy a home, get a job, access healthy lives and health care, and yet be the first ones to die on the front lines. It is evident that Black lives in the U.S. do not matter; they are expendable. Back to the meatpacking plants, the grocery stores, to scrub floors and drive buses to keep the system going with minimal acknowledgment and even death. Our children are handcuffed and even killed for playing with a toy in a park, walking and wearing a hooded sweatshirt, riding their own bike in their own neighborhood, or playing their music too loud. The world has been taught to fear Black people, dangerous people. The pain has just been too heavy a load for a person, a people, a generation, to hold. The challenge is far beyond a single police instance. What might we do? We are not individually responsible, but we are all collectively responsible. We can look within and be willing to change ourselves.

Can you imagine our country embracing people of color and seeing them as part of our future, giving them the kind of openness and grace we give to people we love? How much better would our lives be? How much better would our country be?

Number One: Can we get out of denial and be real people? We all have biases. Can we look and recognize bias? For example, many of us have word associations: black is bad, poverty, lazy, violent, and ignorant: white is beautiful, pristine, smart, and pure. It is part of our society; we pass it on to our children. Great scientists and scholarship are solely the purviews of white scholars. The discipline of Positive Psychology is as guilty as any.

Number Two: Color blindness is dangerous. We all see color; if we do not see color, we deny what we see! Color blindness is a false ideal. We can admire all people and recognize their brilliance, gifts, beauty, culture, and grace. We can look at them directly in the face and respect them. People of color have made the world better in innumerable ways. Please see us; please acknowledge our complete humanity. It is heartbreaking to have to ask!

Number Three: Biases are stories we make up about people before we know them. Get to know them! I am not asking you to take any crazy risks. Just do an inventory, expand your social and professional circles. Who is in your circle? Who is missing? How many authentic relationships do you have with Black people? You may build the types of friendships that cause you to see the holistic person and to go against the stereotypes; this is not about perfection but connection. You will not get comfortable until you get uncomfortable. If someone comes your way, take them up on the invitation. Most Black people are uncomfortable for most of every single day as we work to fit in, stay small, not offend, keep jobs, go into a store without being followed, go for coffee at Starbucks, go bird-watching, and care for our families. It is hard!

Number Four: Some of the in-depth dialogue may be most productive in same-race circles. It is not the job of Black people to teach people about racism or explain our existence! Racism is not our fault; we did not create it, and we are not flawed! Those with agency can take the lead, learn, and answer their own questions. Do some homework; there is significant information available; we all have access to information. Some white people may need to learn about the roots and realities of racism, whereas many Black people need to heal from repeated and historical trauma and fatigue. Dr. Martin Luther King wrote: “In the end, we will not remember the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.” Omissions and silence destroy Black people in the U.S. We cease to be bystanders when we become actors. We can become advocates and allies; this is how we begin to develop a community where everyone matters; a beloved community of grace.