Designing Rituals for Well-being
/
Creating Lunchtime Rituals, led by Jan Stanley, MAPP FETE, 2018. Photo courtesy of the author.
Each October, MAPP graduates gather in Philadelphia for an alumni day. At our most recent event, we met in a rustic camp setting to enjoy being in community on a brisk autumn day. At lunchtime in the cafeteria, tables were set for teams of eight.
Before eating, each group was asked to create a meaningful ritual based on mindfulness and gratitude – two well researched elements from the science of well-being. What resulted were more than a dozen creative rituals that evoked the spirit of celebrating one another and time together.
There was a round-robin ritual that had each person sharing a gratitude after reciting all those that had been shared before. There was the gratitude ritual where team members enacted mindful actions like, “We open our hands to fully receive all that is given.” And there was a simple but meaningful ritual that moved me to tears. This group spoke opening words in unison, “In these troubled times and in our busy lives, I see you.” Group members then made direct eye contact slowly and silently with one another, an action that offered each person at the table a chance to feel as if they truly mattered.
Throughout our lives, some of our most meaningful moments include the use of ceremony and ritual to mark milestones. Think about the ceremonies that accompany graduations, birthdays, weddings, and funerals. Ceremonies and rituals, when thoughtfully designed and well-orchestrated, can help us navigate the thresholds we encounter on our journeys through life. But, as demonstrated by my MAPP colleagues at our recent gathering, we can find many ways to employ ritual in service of our individual and collective well-being.
Rituals for well-being could be described as activities we pursue to connect deeply to what’s most meaningful to us. These intentional well-being rituals can connect us with our values, with life’s meaningful everyday moments, and with the people, places and things that add depth and richness to our existence.
Rituals are unlike habits, the more commonly cited vehicle for achieving well-being. Habits are, by definition, automated. Habits become second nature, affording us the mental space to do them mindlessly, if we so choose. The power is in this habituation. We reap the benefits of repeatedly performing our go-to habits of well-being. Rituals, on the other hand, are about deeply immersing in an activity, being fully present, and savoring the meaning of what we are doing.
There’s a shorthand for deciding whether a habit or a ritual is in order: If you know what activities elevate your well-being but you struggle to do them consistently, create habits. If, however, you crave connection to what’s most important to you, to experience your values through actions aligned with elements of well-being science, a ritual might be just right.
The research in using rituals for well-being is new, even though rituals are an ancient form of behavior. While we don’t have validated studies of every type of ritual we can imagine, we do know from the emerging science that rituals can enhance feelings of positive emotion, lessen the impact or duration of grief, and reduce anxiety and build confidence before a stressful
event. Even with an ever-increasing variety of rituals being studied, we also know that in well-being there is a person-activity fit. That is, a well-being activity that might work for some, doesn’t work for everyone. Experimentation to find just the right ritual for you is key.
Designing with the “I AM” Model
Fortunately, researchers in the field of positive psychology are turning out good research in the many factors that contribute to thriving individuals and groups. The evidence for activities to increase well-being, also called positive interventions, is growing (though never quickly enough for those of us who rely on it as practitioners). For example, we now know that things like using our strengths and connecting with others can help us to flourish. So why not take a validated element of well-being that you’d like to enhance and create a meaningful ritual for yourself?
One simple model for designing rituals of well-being is an acronym: I AM.
I: Intention. What is your intention? What element of well-being do you want to enhance?
A: Action. What is the action you will take in your ritual, tied to your intention?
M: Meaning. What personal meaning will you ascribe to this intention/action?
A ritual for well-being is an action performed with intention from which you create meaning. There have been studies that show even seemingly meaningless rituals can have a positive effect. But why not make your rituals a bit more personal by designing-in meaningful elements, things like doing the ritual in surroundings you love, using favorite materials, or adorning yourself with clothing that marks the moment as special or sacred? Here’s an example of a simple ritual for marking accomplishments, one aspect of well-being:
Ritual for Celebrating Accomplishments
In our busy lives, we are often on to the next task before we take a moment to celebrate what we’ve just accomplished. Why not use a beautiful vessel (glass jar, vase, or bowl) and colorful beads or smooth stones that remind you of a favorite place? Each time you take a step toward your goal, place a bead in the vase, and take a moment to reflect on what you’ve accomplished.
Before long the vase will become not only a touchstone for reminding you to celebrate your achievement, but also a beautiful symbol of progress toward goals.
Rituals cause us to take a step back, even for a short moment, and to reconnect to that which most fulfills us. When combined with the science of well-being, there is opportunity to create rituals that could help us do things like use a character strength, adopt a growth mindset, connect deeply to one another, or to savor our positive emotions, just to name a few. You can make a ritual of known positive interventions like writing down three good things, dancing, or sitting in meditation. Adding an intention before the activity and reflecting on its meaning afterwards can deepen the experience. Can you think of a ritual you could do right now, perhaps a ritual related to reading well-being literature?
Hobson, N. M., Schroeder, J., Risen, J. L., Xygalatas, D., & Inzlicht, M. (2018). The psychology of rituals: An integrative review and process-based framework. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 22(3), 260–284. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868317734944
Norton, Michael I & Gino, Francesca (2014). Rituals alleviate grieving for loved ones, lovers, and lotteries. Journal of Experimental Psychology; General 143 (1):266-272.
Vohs, K. D., Wang, Y., Gino, F., & Norton, M. I. (2013). Rituals enhance consumption. Psychological Science, 24(9), 1714–1721. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797613478949
